The Myth of Early Spring

I’m a little worried about this:

That is our first asparagus shoot, reaching boldly for the sun. I’m worried because he’s not the only thing at the ranch that thinks it’s spring. I tried to tell the trees that it’s February and despite what that groundhog said, it’s not really spring. I tried to tell them, global warming doesn’t mean what they think it means. I tried to tell them that this is a false spring and it’s going to freeze again. They were uninterested in my proselytizing and continue to bud. Youths. What are you going to do?

Like children, I can only send them into the world and hope for the best. I will mulch them and water them and hope they survive the last cruel weather winter is bound to bring.

I hope the frost hold out until this asparagus is ready to pick.

Is that weird after I compared my plants to my children? Is there some sort of Greek pathos in there somewhere? Are children delicious, too?

Eh, they probably aren’t as good as asparagus.


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