The Poetry of Violence

More people have been dumping trash on the property and I’m pissed. Our neighbor Max found a woman hiding along our back road and told her he was going home to get his riffle and she best leave. Max is a card-carrying member of the NRA and he looks the part. Apparently, people don’t realize that the barricades mean they are not welcome on our back road. I have decided to start a sort of advertising campaign so people know that there people living on the property and trespassers are not welcome. So in the classic style of the Burma-Shave road signs, I have written a poem. Each line will go on a sign and the signs will be placed on the road so as someone walks or drives, they will read each sign in order:

If we find you on our lot

Trespassing, you will be shot.

If you live we’ll shoot you twice

and the dog we have’s not nice.

We’ll guaranteed release the hound;

We recommend you turn around.


I know that the Burma-Shave poems are much shorter but they were also meant to be read at a much faster speed. My poem is for those on foot or waiting for a tow after they high-center their car on the barricades. If you’re feeling creative, you can post a poem, if it’s really good, I might steal it and put it into production.


One response to this post.

  1. Posted by Moo on October 31, 2010 at 08:05

    Ha! Funny!


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