How Many Acres Per Child?

Anyone who has horses on pasture knows about and practices pasture management. The rule of thumb is it takes 1-2 acres of grass pasture, per horse, if you want to keep the pastures healthy. Out here, it’s probably more like 2.5 acres per horse for year round grass. Today, I’m  going to propose children should also be managed in such a way as to prescribe a proper amount of acres, per child. I may have mentioned but I decided that we really needed another house when the kids were here for winter vacation. There are three kids and they were all up in my space. It wasn’t their fault, there just simply wasn’t enough square footage for all of them. To add to the problem, they get cranky when they are too close together. If they were chickens, they would have pecked each others’ eyes out.

After a brief and highly unscientific study I conducted at Redemption, I believe I have found the correct acreage formula. Children under 12 or older but very energetic children, need a minimum of ten acres each. people over the age of 12 need six acres each. There is one caveat to the formula and that’s the teenage girl variance. They spend a lot of time on the phone and they have shrill voices. They may require ten acres, not for themselves but for the comfort of the other humans who share the same space. My evidence is shown below.

Here they are starting a fire. If you don’t have at least one acre, fires are irritating to the neighbors. And, if they burn something down, there are more acres.

Helicopter flying requires some space.

Quads require a lot of space. Shortly after this photo was taken the boy was waving at us, as we were yelling to watch where he was going and he ran into a fence. Try not to have things you kids can run into on their allotted acres.

If the kids owe you money for downloading things they shouldn’t on their cell phone, you will have plenty for them to do on those ten acres.

This is a demonstration of the teenage girl variance. Note that since she is on the quad, no one else can ride it. This is a right bestowed upon the eldest child in the herd.

Of course, just like livestock, you can raise children on small acreage, it just requires more management. Children raised on ten acres have the opportunity to self-exercise. More on that tomorrow.


2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by husband on September 1, 2010 at 20:33

    One of the benefits of said acres, trees, dirt and other in sundry items allows the parental units additional reasons (like we need reasons) to say “Get out of this house!”…


  2. Posted by jules on September 5, 2010 at 11:58

    wow i feel so special……….


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